Maria’s Weblog

There’s no absolute happiness out there… But I find it in bits and pieces. Together they make me a little bit happier every day. And each day leads to the bigger happiness being gathered and summed up in the end.

Possibly somebody up there decides what’s right and what’s wrong for you…

There’re times when I think this grey and bad time should end someday! It must end. But it doesn’t. I heard though, that if you think all’s bad in your life and in somebody elses’ life everything is cool.. So it’s probably you having troubles. No-one to blame.

We make our own happiness, right?

I do follow this. But from time to time it gets harder to believe I’m capable of building anything happy. I get tired and things and people around don’t help.

Nowadays I feel like life is squeezing me. I’ve got no time for things, for myself, for friends, for life..

There’s still nothing certain with anything. I’m absolutely naked. Insecure in job. I may loose it sooner rather than later. I wonder why it doesn’t bother me as it probably should. Though.. I care, but not that much really. I’ll find another job… better one, maybe? =)

I’m insecure… I don’t have what I need.

My friends are happy… My family is happy… My colleagues are happy. Well..almost =)

Why can’t I just say I’m happy now?

I’m not Unhappy, no.. I just need something.. something certain probably.

For now.. I cant’ say where I am going to.

The first snow… It’s just the 2nd of November..Snowy! Windy! Cold and disgusting =(

No news regarding  job yet. Four bosses tried to decide today what to do with us.. No decision yet as far as I understood. At least I’m not fired yet, heh..

I’m tired. Depressed and feeling down…

Nope, I do not celebrate Halloween.

It’s been a loooong time…

Life goes on..things happen=)

Paris 2010 = Love.

Had a very strange day.

My head is like a mess. Thoughts running through don’t let me sleep sometimes.

I started to believe that everything has reason and explanation. Nothing happens “just because”.

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Feeling a bit better. Though suffocating cough is very depressing. Can’t live life to the fullest.

Nearest weekend is planned. Starting from tomorrow.

Good reason to “kill” the feeling of being miserable.

Yesterday I thought that body temperature of 39C* is the worst feeling ever. Felt like burning alive.
Today I didn’t go to work and hoped I feel better soon. But hey! Life doesn’t present me gifts! I’m missing German language class, I missed job, I still feel like crap, I didn’t sleep whole night because I was burning and I was in pain, medicine didn’t work! Add to that bloody painful period which started today and add to that complete loneliness.
Life is fantsastic, isn’t it?
I think there’s nothing worse on earht after yesterday and today.

Is getting sick and very tired.

Didn’t wont anything today. Food, tv, people, walks.. Nothing.

Finished day with some dinner, closed my door..downloaded good music, covered myself in blanket and talked to few online friends, who always know ways to cheer me up, even if everything looks bad.

I hope tomorrow will be better than today. I hope soon everything will be better.

I think I was right giving up on Project 365

It’s nearly impossible to imagine anything interesting happening in life when work is from 0900 till 1700.

I’m just glad it’s warm here. October and +26 = not bad!

So many things are hanging in the air…

Starting from work-job issues, till New Year holidays already. Nothing is certain yet. Including my life.

Will share news when(if?) there’re any.